May2 - Saturday
Another rainy day and cold here in Newton County Arkansas. The forecast says at least 5 more days of this. Ugh!

Today the rain didn't matter at all because I sat all day at the Newton County Library, one of my favorite places, tending the Used Book Sale from 9:30 AM to 2:00 PM. I brought all kinds of things to occupy myself including my journal and my drawing pad and cell phone. But I never got to any of those. The time flew by.
First I spent and hour or so perusing the books. I found about 15 books that lured me in with the price of 6 for 5 bucks. Who could resist? I found a worn copy of May Sarton's Journal of Solitude. I immediately dug into it, but didn't get far before the book shoppers came in. The whole experience was kind of an indulgence of my long-time fantasy of running a bookstore coffee shop. I even got to serve a piece of my banana bread to one guy who stayed around to shop and talk. He is camped down in Murray, one of Newton County's remotest spots, which is something a city dweller can't quite envision I suspect. He is living with a friend in a tent (remember the 10 days of rain?). He says he is loving it. They are here to investigate the possibilities of starting an intentional community. Not sure what the goal of this community would be, but I suspect it has something to do with group safety as the dominant culture collapses. Seemed like a nice guy - but surprised me with his derision of Buddhists, vegans and feminists. I didn't point out that I would fit the bill on all counts. His point seemed to be that these people were more pretentious about their values than a straight-out professed capitalist. He said those Buddhists, vegans and feminists would make you work to serve them if times get bad and they have the money or own the land. Essentially his point is capitalistic greed is deeper than Spiritual values. I'd like to think not. Here's a man who has done a lot of thinking about what he wants and doesn't want in his life. But it seems he's done this thinking in isolation mostly. And as a result he is another divider rather than a uniter. He wants to blame someone for his dissatisfaction with the way things are. It was good for me to hear him and I plan to think about the ways that I do that too - the ways that I am a divider and not a uniter. Anyway, I gave him the rest of the loaf of banana bread since he is living in a tent and can't bake anything. It was vegan banana bread by the way.
I had good talks with several folks today including Mickie, another introverted and beautiful woman that I would love to know better. Predictably our talk was about solitude and how we try to get this need met even though we are both married. Her husband Mike works long hours and Mickie is alone in her jewelery studio. It is good. My husband, Jim is home all the time as I am. So I get space in my studio or the garden. It works. We both agreed with May Sarton who wrote after a long visit from a friend, (remember I am stealing glimpses in her book between conversations):

I am here alone for the first time in weeks to take up my "real" life again at last. That is what is strange - that friends, even passionate love, are not my real life unless there is time alone in which to explore and to discover what is happening or has to happen. Without the interruptions nourishing and maddening, this life would become arid. Yet I taste it fully only when I am alone here and 'the house and I resume our old conversations.

Anyway, before I knew it, it was 2:30 and time to go home. Now I have 15 or so new (old) books to incorporate into the household. I am fundamentally against putting books in boxes as some people do. Again, I'll have to look to see if there are some of our books that can go on to other homes.